Straight on

I've realised that things that potentially might change my life, small or big, they happen in discrete packets of happenings called quanta.

No, I was just joking. Physics-sense huh? (As opposed to common-sense)

I've realised that things that potentially might change my life, small or big, happen spontaneously (No, not Nuclear Physics here). Very very spontaneous.

Now after cancelling the jokey stuff out:

I've realised that things that potentially might change my life, small or big, happen spontaneously, sometimes happen so quickly, that I don't know what to exactly do when they happen, and sometimes can't recall what I did when they were happening.

So that's life for me.

Can I be your memory...?

I will never be sure whether this will apply to any of you or not, but I look at life in three ways, of which I will explain only two, for the fun of it. No, not exactly... I'm leaving out the third because it is inappropriate to explain here.

First, have a vision that goes forward and is (to be) successful e.g. going to have a great time in the UK if selected for a scholarship, going to have a great life, looking forward and forward and forward and it keeps me looking on forward and forward.

Second, have a 180-degree turn (doesn't matter which way or how you turn, but I prefer turning right) and look back at the past. Well this one makes me go nostalgic. Very very nostalgic. Play a few songs that came out or were famous during those times and I get a really hard bang in the heart saying, "I miss those times...".

That's why sometimes I can't stand listening to old songs or songs that make me think of the past. The effects are uncontrollable. I sometimes go flying and can only reach solid ground some time later.

There are just too many memories to remember. And photos and songs make them easily recallable (does this word exist?). I just hope I have a stable data storage device to store all the pictures and songs that I want so I can reminisce in the later days.

How ever much you miss the days, you have to move on. The most that you can do is to get together with your old buddies, or at most, re-enact what you've been doing in the past... It gives a good feel.

Memories sometimes give a hard time to me but I love recalling them.

One bold statement

Today is the 21st day of July. (You know that)

Time flies so fast that today itself I am determined enough to say that my birthday is just around the corner.

That will mean that the Qualifying Examinations for A-levels are comparable to being like a couple of days away.

And the real A-levels are something like a week away.

On the brighter side (I'm getting pretty used to twist things from one end of the spectrum to the other, ain't I), that will mean that Ramadhan will be 3 days away and Syawal 5 days away!

So accurate my 'days away' calculations... Not.

I've realised it's time

The way you have used time has shaped up what you are now.

When I look back at things that I've been through and done, I regret a hell lot.

But the reality is, I can't.

It's shaped you up and you can only make hollow wishes to have done better things in the time that has passed. You can't regret 'cause you don't have a second chance to do something else rather than do the things that you did when you were 16, and 17 (the first half year).

But on the bright side, usually nearly every dull situation has its emergency door out.

The door here lies in changing myself to what I've wanted to be. Starting now.

It's I don't know

I am so feeble that I can get depressed by reading just two words, maybe even one.

I am so unstable that I can be hyped up one second and nearly cry the other.

I am so desire-oriented that I can just go about thrashing whatever reasoning to just support what my desire says, irrespective of whether I'm truthfully reasoning or not. And I think maybe things don't usually will work well from then on. 'Cause lying usually gets you into trouble.

I am so imaginative that I can cry by just thinking about something totally imaginary.

I am so ignorant that I sometimes overlook other people's situations and get into trouble because of that.

I am so lazy that in months, tonight is the first night that I have completed my Maths homework in accordance with the lessons in school i.e. no delays. I have even planned to have a night out with a few friends just because of this.

A day in Delhi

First things first, I don't know and I'm not sure, and I can't confirm, but maybe I might have pissed or half-pissed or quarter-pissed or eighth-pissed or sixteenth-pissed someone off today so as I said earlier on, first things first, from deep inside, from the bottom of the wall of my heart (left ventricle? Nearly two years of not touching biology has made me like this) I apologise for pissing anyone off today. First thing done.

So what happened was, I came down to school a little earlier than usual. There was only one line of students queueing up for the temperature check at the waiting bay and I joined in. It was long. It wouldn't be that long if you came at around 7.05 a.m.. A tutor then called for a second line to be made and I joined that one. Greeted him good morning as well as the other tutors in charge of SMSA HSE (as if there is a term like that). Why I tell you all this? 'Cause I think this "Morning, Sir!, Morning, Sir!" thing triggered my good mood that lasted a lifetime. Just kidding. It lasted the whole day.

Went through a good day 'cause I talked and smiled and laughed and asked whereabouts and serious stuff and joke stuff and all that stuff with a lot of people. Exceptionally a lot of people. I feel happy. Why? Because typing the above is a good way to summarise the fact that you've been talking to Pkah, Norlela, Abd. Aziz, Zimo, JJ, Yee Fang, Hanafi, Jason, Abd. Khaliq, many more, and My Physics Tutor (note the capital letters). Only I and only I can understand what I am talking about. Great. Now I know how to make life easy. And short. And simple. On the outside only, by the way. 'Cause inside I've got a picture. A picture paints a thousand words... Okay get me? I have a thousand words (or more) inside me.

I had a haircut. Laugh at me, I don't know about hair and I love to go to the Indian barber. With the energy and good mood and all I greeted the barber, who was new, and we broke the ice. Great. Just as he started cutting, I asked his name and I told my name and we set off right away, after a few sentences...

Him: "Sudah kawin ka kawan?"

Me: "Belum eh... Saya umur 17 bah. Kamu?"

Him: "Belum juga... 22"

Him: "Gaalfren?" i.e. "Girlfriend?"

Right on, now we can talk some real stuff here!

Me: "Tidak ada lah..."

We talked and talked and I got to know that he's still a freshie... only around 9 months into the job I think. Asked him how long he'd intend to work in Brunei, since there's a plethora of Indians around who've been here for more than 20 years. He said he'd go for 15. I said he'd be 37 by the time that time came. He agreed...

I used some Urdu to get the ice really melted. No, I don't speak Urdu. Just some words and broken sentences...

I learnt a great deal from him. As usual, barbers over in Delhi don't earn as much as they do in Brunei. Also, competition for jobs is real damn hard over there. So he came here. Good to see you here Bhai-sab!

I asked him. How the hell do you barbers learn to cut hair? He told me that barbers-to-be in Delhi go for a 4-month course in the profession of barbery (I made that word up), maybe in a hairstyling academy or something, I don't know. They cut the hair of people that want their hair to be cut by barber-trainees. And if the hair gets messed up, it's okay. It's okay. They don't mind. They don't mind. That's what I was told by him. The great thing about him was, he graduated from the hairstyling academy or whatever that did Shah Rukh Khan's and Salman Khan's hairs. I asked him if he had ever met Salman Khan. He enthusiastically said yes! Wow, this is great, I thought.

Him: "Salman Khan, muscle banyak!"

Me: "Ia wah?" Melayan lah.

Him: "Ya... Dia banyak gaalfren, tau..." And he kept on saying the names of most probably hot Indian women celebrities and I went nod, nod, nod, nod, nod...

Me: "Dia sudah kawin belum, itu Salman Khan?" Honestly I don't know about him.

Him: "Belum, belum, dia banyak gaalfren..."

Me: "Oh... Dia banyak gaalfren boleh main-main lah, kalau sudah kawin tida boleh main-main lagi bah"

Him: "Itu lah..."

We somehow got back to him working in Brunei for fifteen years and we talked about him getting married and how would his marriage be, his wife, his kids, if he'd be here in Brunei and the rest over in Delhi. He didn't say much but...

"Saya ada gaalfren bah. Dua orang..."

Wow! I laughed. So I said,

"Itu gaalfren tida marah kah, kamu datang sini Brunei?"

I don't think I got an answer to that...

He gave a nice moustache shave, some facial whatever that felt great on my face and a nice massage.

Paid $4 and bade him Salaam.

This reminds me of my childhood days when I would go out with Ayyub and my dad to the same barber shop (different barber) to get our hairs done and my dad would be shooting off some lively conversation with the barber(s).

Maybe the time has come wherein I would be the one conversing with them.

It's a maze

This is a question that I cannot answer:

Why do we still need to stack up empty shampoo bottles with the ones still with contents side by side?

I understand the 'empty shampoo bottle' phenomenon especially if the shampoo was an expensive/ specialty shampoo or if it was from some Hilton hotel in Los Angeles or wherever.

I have come across some instances (and so have you, I believe) where you can see stacks of shampoo bottles with the gel douche and moisturising lotion whatnot either on the sink or around the washroom. Beautiful. They must be there. It shows people how much of a traveller you are. In some rare cases can you might even come across eau de toillettes. Complimentary, from the most luxurious hotel you can name. Teriffic!

Despite all this, I still cannot understand why empty shampoo bottles (No, not empty bottles from Hilton hotel in Makkah, it's those Head and Shoulders stuff) must be stacked together with the bottles that are still in use...

Let's go somewhere else.

For a second, I thought, why would the clock show 11 o'clock while it was still daylight (I assumed it was 11 p.m.)? I somehow figured out that the clock wasn't working. So I turned my head the other way. The digital clock didn't lie; It was 4.44 p.m.. Great! Now I understand the reason for displaying 3 clocks in one room. I never got the logic of putting more than one in a single room/common area.

One day, I removed one of the clocks and put it in my room (My room hadn't had a working clock in it for years, till then). It was sickening to see three clocks in one place. The day after, another new clock was there! Fabulous! Someone had put a new clock there! That place really needed 3 clocks after all.

Call it personal

Well hello dear fellows

I am having a good time these days... However I admit that I am not settled down yet. I'm still floating in mid air... Now can you tell me where the solid ground is again?

I have loads to do... It's mostly school stuff and with full truth and honesty there is a little bit of university stuff to be done to.

I feel demotivated, under pressure and that sort of stuff but thank God my laziness is evaporating away from me by the minute! That's the important thing to bear in mind. Once the laziness goes away, dude, you can fly further than the space shuttle (was the name Voyager I) that took the picture of the Pale Blue Dot. And never come back.

Well, that's the end. See you soon!

We have...

3 things going on right now:

Some Harry Potter premiere at Leicester Square

Some Michael Jackson funeral at the Staples Centre (I don't care if its official name is Center, we speak English)

Some lazy and tired Pre-U student trying to get things going...

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