Got caught

It's... been a metamorphosing couple of weeks. Wahalla here, wahalla there. But you try to get things going. Should be living life. Having fun here, having fun there. Not sure what you're really up to. Being spontaneous. I think I like spontaneity. I've been right-clicking the mouse and looking for word suggestions twice already. Couldn't get the metamorpho-what and spontaneousity words. Whatever.

It's great to be at home. Running in the afternoon. Staying up late at night. Forgetting that there's loads of Mathematics and Physics homework and a test to sit for right after the holidays and a lot of catching up with the syllabuses to do. You know, you feel like you want it to go on and on and on till whenever. But that can't happen. A-levels are around the corner... Blink-open, blink-close, blink-open, blink-close (Direct translation of Pejam celik, pejam celik) and you're somewhere in October or November in the examinations hall doing some A-level paper hoping you'd get straight A's and get yourself in an excellent university 10 months later.

You feel good when you've finally landed your feet into an excellent pair of Vans that will now substitute a pair of Converse shoes that doesn't fit in to your wide feet that you've been wearing for more than 2 years. Oh yes, Converse makes quality products; you shouldn't be waiting for them to rot to get a new pair... Lesson learned. Well it was my mistake in the first place... Buying a non-fitting pair of shoes initially.

I'm having a break... Having a look at my friend's nice blog posts. Well he used to be my English teacher in Upper secondary but now since he's gone there and I've gone here, no more student-teacher thingy, so he decided to tell me to regard him as a friend. And I do. I've been bullying him on a handful of occasions.

My brother is here... Talking about Shell. Now he's gone. I didn't pay much attention to him but I got what he meant. At least. Maybe he was irritated by my inattentiveness.

Now give me a couple of minutes.

Done with the break.

Heck, I've got to admit that I'm sort of in line with my friend-whom-I've-been-bullying-a-handful-of-times' posts... That stuff like, when you're feeling 'this' way he comes up with a post that talks about something like 'this'. It's been happening twice already. He inspires me. You gotta give him credit. Don't forget him. He might cry. I've been warned. Joking.

I respect this fellah (fellow) because he's been inspiring me in somewhat an indirect way. He's been teaching the meaning of life. I might be exaggerating but those are the only words that I can think of right now. Not the real real real meaning of life. It's life as in materially, emotionally, that stuff.

I recall this one instance when I was still a student of his. I'm trying to recall properly. It went out like this:

It was the examinations period. I was outside at the school foyer when he came. He had marked my paper and asked me if I had forgotten to write my name on my answer script. I wasn't that sure, but if he was asking, it might be that I had forgotten to.

Okay, I forgot to write my name. I apologised and he said it was okay. He told me to just not do it in the real O-level examinations 'cause I'd turn into a you'll-get-an-X-in-your-English-and-you-would-have-to-write-English-again-in-the-following-June-exams fellow if I did.

Nahhh, the above thingies aren't relevant to today's post. The following is:

Then somehow we talked about failing in examinations. I said I failed once (or was it twice?). It was Mathematics. A topic test. Geometry, that stuff. x-planes, y-planes, (we haven't done z-planes yet), gradient, y-intercepts (no x-intercepts yet), equations of lines (no curves yet, nor planes). Heck, I mixed up the x and y values in getting the gradients. I even wrote something like (0, 1) for a question that asked "State the y-intercept of the line bla bla bla..." I can clearly remember all this 'cause it's right there in my heart, my memory. My first failure. Heck. I was in Form 2 at that time. I was always a top student in class so this failure made me traumatic. I got nervous. I might have cried. Might even peed in my trousers. When the results came out, heck for sure, I did fail.

Wait. Were there two tests that I had failed? One was a failure for sure and one was 'supported'? I can't recall but never mind. I do remember messing up the Geometry or Coordinates, whatever you call it.

I'll branch out a bit then come back on track.

I had failed a Mathematics test (not sure if it was the one I described above or another) but I got 4 marks free of charge (I didn't need to pay bribe) just to get the passing mark of 30 I think. Phew. My teacher explained that I got them because I had represented the school in eXploMaths. We lost in that eXploMaths tourney anyway. She pitied me, I guess. 'Supports' never got more than 1 mark. 2 was the most; you'd have to be really well-behaved in class to deserve a 2-mark 'support' if you failed. 1-mark 'supports' were normal... If you've had experience being a borderliner in tests and that stuff it'd be a party till 11pm for you that night (Yes, you still slept early in Form 2, don't lie) if you did get a free mark to get that 50% locked in on your test results.

Now getting back to me failing a Maths test and its relationship with my friend whom I've bullied several times already.

So, he said something like this,

"Your failure, it proves that you're not a human robot... You're not just being nerdy and studying all the time (What human robots do) ..."

He also said something like,

"It's better to fail now... Have a feel of it... It's better than failing in the real O-levels."

He was right.

There was another instance when I got second place (instead of first) in an inter-school competition held at our school.

My hands were shaky when I was on stage... Everyone saw it.

So he came to me after announcing the results. He was the emcee for the event... English teachers always become emcees (GP teachers if you're in Sixth Form). So what did he say? He said something like this:

"But you did your best right? It was the best that you did. It's not like you didn't do your best."

I felt better. Way better. It was like, he was telling me I did the maximum that I could do and it was great, totally great that I did the maximum that I could do. Even though we didn't get first place.

Had to scroll up to see what I should type up next.

Done with the scrolling. Hoping that readers would be okay with my post. Edit here, edit there. Picture perfect.

I feel that I should continue some more.

I've been watching a lot of movies lately. On TV. Like in my previous post. It happens now and then.

I'll save my words for the next post. I love typing.